i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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