never play flip cup with pint glasses
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
