um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize