he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
