Nicole vs. Life
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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