he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
