Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
