we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
