Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize