Got a toothbrush?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
