He is an equal opportunity slut.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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