he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
