hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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