Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize