You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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