watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
