sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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