Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
