hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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