This beer is not sobering me up at all
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
