I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize