Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
