Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize