I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
