carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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