wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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