But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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