So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
