Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize