Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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