the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
