she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize