Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
