It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
