I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
