I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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