I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
