i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
