A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
