If that was your dad, he is hot
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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