I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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