I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
