yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
