Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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