she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
