I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize