i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
