Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
