I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Operation Purity has been aborted
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
