I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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