No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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