I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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