On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
