Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I've blown a few things in my day
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
