smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
