I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How does one acquire holy water?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
