i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
