just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
