if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
