We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
