fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
