we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
