I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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