so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
