bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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