Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
