I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
